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'Twas
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~ Marriage and Grace or "Submission" ~
Submission is definitely in the Bible. I've put the verses that talk about submission below.
There are several different popular teachings about submission. There are several different interpretations and teachings about wives submitting to their husbands. Some are known for teaching that a wife must do anything and everything her husband says. He is the boss, and she must do whatever he says without question in order to please God.
What I've discovered after years of studying this is that often those who teach it have completely lost the point. That word "submit" has become the focus of the Bible for the wife and it's what she tries to do in order to please the Lord, and she becomes lost in it. It kind of becomes her idol.
When we study the Bible, we have to put each word, each verse in context of the whole Bible. Otherwise, one verse, or one word can be taken out of context easily.
God's focus for wives is not submission. It's love. God tells us He is love. He tells us to love one another, to love our husbands, to love our children, even to love our enemies.
If you have found yourself drawn into the "submit to your husband" way of thinking, I ask you to reconsider. Simply love him. Love him. Like him. Enjoy him! ♥
Be wary of becoming obsessed with 'submission.'
Don't be a whiner. Don't be a grouch or complainer. After all, you wouldn't with your friends, would you? So don't be like that with your husband either.
When you have conflict with your husband (which all wives have!) speak respectfully about your opinion. Reach an agreement you can both live with. If it is big and it is something that you feel very strongly about, something like moving or buying a house, ideally you should both respect each other's opinion enough that you come to agreement after prayer. If you don't agree, my humble opinion is to wait. Otherwise it may cause big problems in the future.
If it is not big, and you differ in opinion but you don't feel strongly about it, let it go. If you feel you always have to be right, like you're smarter or wiser or a better decision maker, well, that's not humble, is it? If you're thinking that way, ask the Lord to help you out in that area.
It is important to note that husbands are told to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. That is a very high standard, and not one that allows for abuse or a dictatorial relationship.
Scripture tells us that both husband and wife have "exousiazo," meaning "authority" over each other. In fact, the only place Scripture uses the common Greek word meaning authority "exousia" in relation to a husband and wife is found in 1 Corinthians 7:4. This deals with the couple's sexual responsibility to each other.
Whenever possible we should put aside our feelings, our frustrations, and our pride, and serve one another with love. And this includes, most especially - our husbands. We need to submit to (accept) their faults and not try to change them. We should hold our husbands in high esteem, encourage them, support them and avoid being argumentative, irritable, or complainers.
Every man, every human, has faults. We are sinners married to sinners.
We need to accept the faults of our man. We don't need to criticize him, nag him,
complain to him, etc. That is not godly. That is not loving. It's not respectful.
It doesn't honor God.
We love and serve God because He loved us first. We give grace and love to others because we are grateful for the love and grace He gave us.
That's grace! We receive His, and we give it to others!
1 Peter 3
1 In the same way, YOU WIVES, BE SUBMISSIVE TO YOUR OWN HUSBANDS so that even if any [of them] are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3 And let not your adornment be [merely] external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but [let it be] the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. 6 Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.7 You husbands likewise, live with [your wives] in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered
Titus 2:3-5 --
“The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
Ephesians 5:21-32 --
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Colossians 3:18 --
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fitting in the Lord.”
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